Feeling frustrated with your husband? Begin trusting the Lord to work in your husband’s life …
When you’re married, it can be easy to imagine what you’d like your spouse to be like.
Remember when you were dating or engaged and thought that eventually you could change something about your boyfriend or fiancé?
If you haven’t noticed already, you’re most likely still waiting for those changes to happen.
Instead of nagging your husband into change, though, try to accept him for who he is. You may still need to confront him about certain issues, but do it wisely and fairly. Just like you wouldn’t like him to nag you into changing who you are, I can guarantee he doesn’t appreciate you nagging him.
The secret to changing
Accepting him for who he is right now is a great act of love – but it’s not to say that he won’t ever change. The way he will change is not through your nagging reminders, though.
No, instead of acting as the agent of change, try praying for your husband instead.
Keep praying for him, and when you get annoyed at whatever you think needs to change, pray for him. Pray for the annoying issue. Pray for your heart and attitude. And pray for your marriage to glorify God.
Every time you get annoyed, pray. And every time you feel frustrated, pray. You may need to directly deal with a situation – when you do, pray for the words and wisdom to deal with it. But cover your annoyances and frustrations in prayer.
Trusting the transformation
As you do, trust the Lord to work in your husband’s heart. Trust Him to do the seemingly impossible work of transformation.
It may not happen when you’d like or in the way you’re expecting, but if you’re faithful to keep praying, then truly release your husband to the Lord. Let Him do the hard work – and stop worrying about the burden of doing any (or all) of it on your own.
Could it take a lot longer than you think you’re willing to wait? Possibly. But by trusting the Lord and continuing to faithfully pray, you can surrender that timing to Him. You can also take heart that your husband is accountable for his own actions, habits and words – just like you’re accountable for yours.
As you’re continuing to trust the Lord to change your husband’s heart, spend the time you would take criticizing your husband and search your own heart instead. Pray for him and do the hard soul-searching work of becoming a better wife. (Even when you think you’re a pretty amazing wife, there’s always, always room for improvement.)
Throughout this process, your husband may end up changing – but for sure, your own heart will be transformed.
What helps you to step back and trust the Lord to work in your husband’s life?
Disclaimer: I am a trained journalist – not a trained counselor. If you need help with your marriage, please seek the counsel of a professional.
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All images courtesy of Unsplash.
Good thoughts. Praying Scripture has been hugely impactful on our marriage. Praying for God to give me wisdom as I address issues has been helpful too. Nobody enjoys feeling criticized and our husbands are not the exception! Yes, there is a place for loving confrontation when a behavior is harmful to him and/or others, but 90% of the time I need to say less and pray more.
needed this today, thank you.
I prayed today and told God our marriage is in his hands and to please help my husband know what his calling is and to show me one way or another/ give me a sign as to what i should do about our “problems” we are having. And that I can’t do it by myself and our marriage is all in his hands and my husbands because I don’t know what else I can do and I’m getting exhausted emotionally. I pray everyday and every chance I get for things to get better and then today I came across this post and I almost fell over. Is this my sign I was looking for or what. Thank you for this I totally believe in prayer and when you pray to God he will answer
Thank you
Oh, Ann. Thank you so much for sharing … how absolutely amazing that God spoke to you through this post! Keep praying, and keep trusting Him! He’ll work all things out in His timing.