Does appreciating your husband seem difficult? Here’s one powerful secret that can help …
If you’re married, you already know the spark fizzles. The butterflies you used to get have flown away. Your husband becomes familiar and marriage isn’t such a thrill.
In many ways, that’s a good thing. Imagine if you had to live every day with the passion of young love. It would be tough to actually live a productive life. (Life sure would be fun, though!)
In exchange for the thrill, you get comfort – and that’s a very good thing.
Sometimes, though, marriage might get too comfortable, and you and your husband may start taking each other for granted.
The gift of marriage
I think it’s dangerous to start taking your husband for granted – because you run the risk of forgetting what a blessing marriage is. And you run the risk of entertaining the thought that you’re better off alone.
The truth is, though, marriage IS a gift.
Proverbs 18:22 reveals, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”
As a wife, you are your husband’s good thing. (Some days you may feel like you are. And other days, you may feel like you aren’t.)
While the entire subject of being your husband’s good thing is another post for another day, it’s important to remember that marriage is a favorable thing. And since it is, we, as wives, need to treat it as a gift.
One secret
When marriage is hard or mundane or feels like it’s anything but a gift, it’s easy to complain. And it’s easy to take marriage – and your husband – for granted.
I’d love to challenge you, though, to transform your thinking and try appreciation. When you make the mental switch from being critical to being appreciative, your marriage will start to change.
Oh, sure, it’s much easier to find your husband’s faults and dwell on them. And it’s much easier to complain about your marriage.
But before you start to complain, or think “but you just don’t understand how bad it is!” I want you to stop.
Stop right in your tracks before the next complaint comes to your mind. (And if it’s already there, HUSH.)
Then I want you to think of one thing about your husband you are thankful for.
Just one.
Once you have thought of one thing, try to think of another. Then another.
Don’t take the opportunity to turn your thankfulness into a gripe session – as in, “I’m thankful that my husband takes out the garbage BUT he’s the one who makes most of the mess and never helps out with anything out around the house.” Because that’s not the point of this exercise.
Just be thankful. Silence your criticisms.
The snowball effect
Keep in mind this is only one secret to appreciating your husband. But it’s one powerful secret … because once you start being thankful for the little or big things, your thankfulness just might start to multiply.
If you try to find at least one thing to be thankful for each day – especially when you’re most annoyed with your husband – your gratitude can start to transform your attitude.
And if you start to actually tell your husband how you’re thankful for him, you might start to notice a big change in your relationship. Who doesn’t like knowing they’re appreciated!? (You might even start thinking of other ways to show your husband you love, understand, and appreciate him.)
As you try to focus on being thankful for your husband and what he adds to your life, it just might add a little (or big) spark back to your marriage. And that would be something to be thankful for!
What is one of your secrets to appreciating your husband?
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Merry says
Thank you for such a powerful tool to apply! Thank you, thank you….
Hilary says
🙂 My pleasure! I hope it will make a huge difference!
Frances Scerri says
Needed to be reminded of this. as after 30 years we do take each other for granted and living such busy lives we forget to be thankful for all we do for each other.
Thank you for the reminders,