HilaryBernstein.com

Helping Women Find Peace and Purpose

  • Home
  • About
  • Hilary’s Books
  • Hilary’s Blog

What to Do – & What Not to Do – to Create a Haven for Kids

Hilary June 19, 2017

All children long for a haven, even though they don’t know it. Surprisingly, creating a haven for kids might look a lot different than you may imagine.

Mother and daughter cuddle and read a story

Children are resilient. They have an amazing ability to bounce back from unthinkable situations.

But even though they can, I think most parents would prefer their children to not have to live through hardships. Whether it’s poverty or war or a family crisis, most parents long for a safe place for their children.

And a lot of parents work hard at trying to shape the best childhoods for their sons and daughters. Remember the 1997 film “Life Is Beautiful”? Roberto Benigni creatively tried to shield his son from the horrors of World War II and a Nazi concentration camp by acting like it’s all a game.

Nurturing children can be hard in the middle of relational or financial strains. But it’s still a goal … and an excellent one. A 2012 study showed that a child’s brain benefits from having a loving, nurturing mother. (Source)

While loving through nurturing and encouragement and support is vital, having a safe and comfortable home also helps children immensely.

Your home doesn’t have to be lavish. And it doesn’t have to be filled to the rafters with kids’ stuff. But the safe, comfortable environment, found both in a close relationship and in a home, can be considered a haven.

What is a haven?

Stop for a moment and think about what a haven actually is.

A haven is a safe place. It’s a place where people feel loved, accepted, and wanted.

Truly, that is all any child wants. Forget about all the toys. Forget about all the technology. Forget about all the stuff. Feeling loved, accepted, and wanted is all that any child longs for.

Of course, your son or daughter will never say that. Because they don’t realize it and can’t verbalize it.

Instead, they may ask for every toy, gadget, or belonging that catches their attention.

But stuff is not what they truly need. It’s you. It’s your love and attention. It’s your acceptance and time.

Stuff may keep them occupied for a very short time, but it will never give lasting satisfaction. And stuff will never fill the void that relationships can – especially a healthy relationship with parents.

Dad and mom roughhouse their two sons - for fun - while the family dog looks on

What belongs in a child’s haven?

Since a child’s haven doesn’t require stuff (hallelujah!), what does it actually look like in your home?

A child’s haven is based on relationships, so you have the freedom to decorate your home the way you would prefer.

If you have young children, you’ll want to pack away any breakable belongings for a while. And you’ll need to expect a mess – and figure in extra time picking up until your children are old enough to start learning how to help around the house.

But beyond a messier, child-proofed home, you have a lot of freedom.

Personally, I suggest lots of books around to encourage a love of reading. Research shows the more actual, physical books you have around your home, the more your child’s education will benefit.

Little girl sits on a couch reading a book

Along with books, setting aside at least one family meal time a day will help nurture your children. Research also shows that family meals together help your children dramatically.

Turn off all screens and devices and spend the time eating together and talking together. By unplugging for a mealtime, you’ll be able to focus on each other. Instead of nit-picking at the way your children are eating, use the time to talk to each other. Help your children learn basic conversational and social skills by visiting together.

Since children need relationships, I’m also a huge advocate for limiting screen time. Less screen time is proven to help children. Granted, less screen time means you’ll need to spend time figuring out other ways to fill your children’s time. And for busy parents this can be a huge challenge. That’s parenting, though!

"Forget about all the toys. Forget about all the technology. Forget about all the stuff. Feeling loved, accepted, and wanted is all that any child longs for." - Hilary Bernstein, HomeToAHaven.com

In my home, I love to stick to creative basics like art, building blocks (hello, LEGO!), costumes, or reading. These activities will keep your children occupied while helping them learn and develop their imagination and creativity.

Family game nights are another way to have fun and build into your relationships. It doesn’t need to be a weekly routine, but simply picking one game to play after dinner can be a fun way to spend time together.

Toys don’t have to be completely forgotten – if your children enjoy playing with them, by all means let them play! Your children will grow up quickly enough and phase out of toys on their own. While they’re young, encourage them to play.

But toys don’t have to fill every room of your home. In fact, by limiting toys to just a few spaces will help you manage the mess and encourage your kids to use certain spaces to play.

As your children are nurtured by you, learn basic relational skills, and are encouraged to use their creativity, your home can become the safe, comfortable haven that will help them learn and grow.
Father snuggles his daughter on the couch while the mother sits next to them and reads

If you’re a parent, what do you do when you’re creating a haven for children?

Disclosure: Links in this post may be affiliate links. This means that, at no added cost to you, I may make a commission on products purchased through these links. Thank you for supporting this website!

All images courtesy of Unsplash.

  • Author
  • Recent Posts
Hilary
Hilary
Hilary Bernstein is a Christ follower, wife, homeschooling mama, and writer who believes every Christian woman can transform her home into a haven. She's happiest when she's hosting friends and family for dinner, going on date nights with her husband, singing along to the radio while driving her kids around, enjoying live performances, relaxing on family vacations at the beach, and spending cozy family nights at home.The author of several books, Hilary loves to encourage her e-mail subscribers!
Hilary
Latest posts by Hilary (see all)
  • Why Your Home Matters to God - January 21, 2021
  • Why Kindness Is The Most Important Thing to Add to Your Home - January 14, 2021
  • The Best Strategy for Decluttering Your Home - January 10, 2021
Please share!
fb-share-icon
Tweet
fb-share-icon

Related posts:

The Incredibly Important Secret to Creating a Haven
4 Obstacles to Creating a Haven
7 Things to Add to Your Living Room to Create a Haven
2 Important Questions to Ask When Creating a Haven

Filed Under: Haven Creation Leave a Comment

« Why You Should Create a Haven for Your Husband {& How You Can Do It}
4 Secrets to Creating a Haven for Guests »

About Hilary

Hilary Bernstein is a Christ follower, wife, homeschooling mama, and writer who believes every Christian woman can transform her home into a haven. She's happiest when she's hosting friends and family for dinner, going on date nights with her husband, singing along to the radio while driving her kids around, enjoying live performances, relaxing on family vacations at the beach, and spending cozy family nights at home. The author of several books, Hilary loves to encourage her e-mail subscribers!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Hi! I'm Hilary! Click here to learn more about me ... and Home to a Haven.

I believe you can find peace and purpose when you care for your home and family with an eternal perspective. I'm here to guide you with faith-filled encouragement!

Categories

Spiritual Growth

Learn how to become a modern-day Proverbs 31 woman in my new eBook!
God is calling to each of us. How are you answering God’s call?
Wish you had peace in your home? It's not as impossible as you may think.
As you’re naturally winding down each night, try inviting God to your bedtime.

More Posts

House & Home

Woman holds a bucket of cleaning supplies
If we, as women, could just stop to remind ourselves that we have so much on our plates, we might find a little comfort.
When you're overwhelmed with life, how in the world can you care for your home? I have a few suggestions that have worked for me ...
Do you have a mess of a home and have been wondering how to start decluttering? Let these stress-free steps guide your process!

More Posts

Relationships

Frustrated in your marriage? Here's the absolutely best way to help a marriage.
Being your husband's good thing is a a huge but humbling gift for a wife.
Everyone's busy. But if you're married, it's important you're making time for your spouse.
Woman sits on the floor holding up index finger
Self-care simply is taking time to do something that refreshes you.
Marriage is hard. But it’s also good. And as you study Proverbs 31, you can learn how to become an excellent wife.

More Posts

  • About
  • Start Here
  • Contact
  • Hilary’s Blog
  • Hilary’s Books
  • Privacy Policy
  • Join the Community
© 2021 HilaryBernstein.com. Custom site by Moonsteam Design.